‘The Hurricane Heist’ Is Now The Frontrunner For Best Worst Movie Of 2018
You need to give The Hurricane Heist quite a lot of credit score for attending to the purpose. It’s a film referred to as The Hurricane Heist and it’s about a heist that takes place during a hurricane and each the hurricane and the heist begin occurring nearly immediately. There’s some introductory work, positive. A authorities meteorologist on the scene tells his Washington bosses that what’s at that time referred to as Tropical Storm Tammy might be a lot worse as a result of it “smells like a hurricane.” He additionally talks to the hurricane and says “They’re underestimating you.” And guess what: they’re. The storm turns into a Class 5 megastorm earlier than you’ll be able to say “Hey, these guys who simply confirmed up on the U.S. Mint positive look suspicious…”
And guess what: they’re. A gaggle of unhealthy guys — an inside man with a small group of paramilitary goons, grasping native legislation enforcement officers, and two hackers who we will probably be discussing once more shortly, I promise — present up because the storm is brewing and promptly take over the whole facility. It’s all form of like The Rock meets Tornado meets Sharknado and for those who thought I’d not see it opening weekend you might be extra silly than these goddamn bureaucratic fats cats in Washington with their naively optimistic storm projections.
I think about you’ve gotten some questions at this level. Please, fireplace away.
Nice query. Every part I’ve stated to date is true, however there’s rather more to it than that. For instance, the “heist” in query entails $600 million of previous United States forex that was set to be taken out of circulation and shredded. (Cash that had been, to cite a personality within the film, up too many noses and shoved into too many G-strings, and that nobody will miss.) And due to the storm, most cellphone strains are down and everybody within the Alabama city the film is about in has been evacuated. It’s nearly too simple, as one of many unhealthy guys signifies later within the film when he says this line of dialogue, which made me whoop out loud within the theater: “Every part was excellent. All we wanted was one little hurricane.”
So I’m guessing from his use of the previous tense that this plan doesn’t precisely work out?
Boy howdy, does it ever not work out.
Maintain on. I’ve to inform you about Breeze and Will Rutledge first.
Yup. Breeze and Will are brothers whose father was killed in entrance of them throughout Hurricane Andrew in 1992. They reacted to this otherwise. Breeze (Ryan Kwanten) went into the army and now drinks rather a lot within the workplace of his… it’s not precisely clear what his enterprise does, precisely. He’s a unfastened cannon who has quite a lot of weapons and blames himself for his father’s demise. That’s the principle factor you want to know. And Will (Toby Kebbell) is a former soccer hero who grew to become the meteorologist we talked about above. He’s again in his hometown to trace the storm and he drives a high-tech authorities situation armored automobile that appears form of like if the Batmobile from the Christopher Nolan trilogy was an SUV. He calls it The Dominator.
In order that they’re our heroes?
They’re two of our three heroes. The third is a Treasury Agent named Casey, who:
- Is performed by Maggie Grace, who you most likely know from Misplaced or from being the kidnapped daughter Liam Neeson saves in Taken
- Is the accomplice of the within man who’s behind the heist
- Is transporting previous gross cash as a result of she’s being punished for a latest operation that went unhealthy, which is referenced repeatedly within the film as “the factor in Utah”
Additionally, at totally different factors within the film, every Rutledge brother will get to save lots of her by screeching a automobile to a cease in entrance of her, throwing open the passenger door, and shouting “Get in!” However you most likely figured that out already.
Okay. So inform me in regards to the unhealthy guys.
Eh. There’s the soiled Treasury agent, who is barely notable as a result of he begins the film saying he needs to do the job with out bloodshed and by the top he’s killing folks willy-nilly. There’s the soiled sheriff. There’s the violent second banana. You’ve seen motion films.
However what in regards to the hackers?
Oh, proper! The hackers!
The hackers are a boyfriend-girlfriend staff who hacked and broke the shredder to ensure the Mint could be full of cash to steal. The man is a closely tattooed Brit. He’s high-quality. The lady is a supermodel-attractive American named Sasha who reveals as much as the Mint — for a heist, in the course of a hurricane, posing as an IT employee — in excessive heels and a form-fitting one-shoulder costume that cuts off mid-thigh. She’s my favourite. It’s blowing onerous sufficient to suck folks out by way of the skylight of a mall and he or she’s out right here dressed like she’s going to get together at Pitbull’s home. She doesn’t actually have a poncho. The dedication to style is admirable, if misguided.
Why would she costume like that?
As a result of The Hurricane Heist is precisely the film you suppose it’s.
Proper. Now what’s this a couple of skylight?
Ahhh whoops. Yeah, that undoubtedly occurs. Two unhealthy guys are sucked out by way of the roof of the mall after Casey fires a bullet by way of it (suppose like an airplane film the place somebody opens the emergency door, however on land, in a mall), and the one motive Casey and Will survive is as a result of they’re hooked to lengthy cables that enable them to fly out the skylight however simply form of wave round within the wind rather a lot, like these inflatable sock puppets issues at automobile dealerships.
Different methods unhealthy guys die on this film:
- Fuel station explosion
- Shock flood in greenhouse
- Whole tractor-trailer full of cash sucked into hurricane
- Trailer of truck ripped off by hurricane after which heaved ahead onto the cab, inflicting huge fireball
This brings us to the dramatic conclusion.
Yeah, how does one even contemplate escaping throughout a hurricane?
Oh, buddy. Oh, you’ll love this.
Do the surviving unhealthy guys watch for the attention of the hurricane after which drive the tractor-trailers full of cash away from the Mint within the small nice ring of sunshine surrounded by weather-based destruction?
However how did they know the attention of the hurricane would move over them at that actual second? How may they plan for that when even the federal government climate service misjudged the storm?
Shut up. You’re overthinking this.
I suppose that’s truthful. Impolite, however truthful.
Anyway, there’s a tractor-trailer chase and the hurricane is sizzling on their tail and Will and Breeze are leaping from truck to truck and the entire thing is sort of a stable quarter of the film’s 103-minute runtime. The good guys win. The unhealthy guys lose. The finish.
This film sounds nuts.
Oh, it’s. However let me inform you this: It’s not prefer it’s making an attempt to be Black Panther and arising brief. It’s a foolish enjoyable motion film the place unhealthy guys get sucked out of a mall and everybody’s hair is moist but in addition excellent and one of many good guys is a meteorologist who went into the sphere as a result of a hurricane killed his dad in 1992 and he needs to determine the best way to “cease” them. Director Rob Cohen — the person liable for the first Fast & Furious movie — knew precisely what he was doing with it. I had a blast watching the film, as did the opposite eight folks within the theater with me. At some point you’ll have like three drinks and watch it on Netflix and benefit from the crap out of it.
Wait. He needs to cease hurricanes? Like, fully? How does that even w-[glares]
Oh, proper. “Shut up.”